The View From Nowhere (In Progress)
"Osama and Me" --Posted at Fiction on the Side.
Me first. February, U.S.A. Smack dab in the middle, the heartland, the center of the country, equally far from the west and the east, the north and the south, the very site of the splitting of all differences. The year of my birth: the same as his, although I can claim a slight headstart on the road to wisdom, however crooked it may turn out to be. . . . (more)
"Welcome to Sherwood" --Posted at Fiction on the Side
Those of us who call this town home are very glad you’ve chosen to visit us. There are many things to see and numerous people to meet while you’re here. We certainly hope you’ll find our little tour educational, but even more than that we sincerely intend that you enjoy the time you spend with us.
We know that many of you are here because one of our native sons, born at Sherwood Municipal Hospital, educated in the Sherwood schools, first elected to public office as a state representative from the Sherwood district, Frederick Townes St. Clair, is currently serving as the __th President of the United States. Our tour is thus designed to give you a sense of what it was like for an American President to grow up in a place such as Sherwood—a modest Midwestern suburb. . . . (more)
"The View From Nowhere" --Posted at Fiction on the Side
Leon Stone had set up two separate rooms in his otherwise cramped house to serve as writing areas: one in which to write his novels and stories, those products of his pen for which he still holds the greatest affection, despite their failure to gain him the critical acceptance he feels they deserve, or much of an audience, and one to which he repairs when he intended to work instead on his non-creative prose, literary criticism mostly, long analytical essays that no doubt demonstrate his penetrating critical insights and his mastery of literary history, and that have managed to make his a recognizable name among those who read the few magazines and quarterlies that are willing to publish such things, but that do not really give him the pleasure he derives from creating original works of fiction, even though sometimes only he really knows how original and how truly illustrative of the critical principles he champions in his essays these works are. . . . (more)
"The Story of Joe" --Posted at Fiction on the Side
Dear Editor,
Enclosed please find a short story for your consideration. I think you will find it a refreshing departure from the highly conventional “workshop” story so prevalent in so many of our literary journals these days. I am the author of Up, Down, and All Around (Firing Neurons Press), as well as other stories published in various “zines.” The story I am submitting to you is, I believe, the best thing I’ve written to date. . . . (more)
Tell a Story!
"Getting a Life"--Unlikely Stories
When Daniel Gregorian awoke after a night of dreamless sleep, he found he had been transformed into a fictional character. Or, to be more precise, he had become a character in a just-commenced fiction. Commenced by whom he could not say, but he knew as he lay staring at the ceiling, faintly recognizable but at best fuzzy and indistinct, that his dreadful recurring nightmare had indeed come to be his reality. He was being appropriated by some discourse not his own, enlisted as the subject of a story invented by another. . . . (more)
"The Primal Scene"--Unlikely Stories
It really did seem that my dreams had come true. Not only was she accompanying me to my bedroom, but she was apparently doing so out of a sincere desire to share my bed. I didn’t actually know who she was, but that she was lovely to look at and exuded a sexual allure no man would want to resist was beyond dispute. The only issue to be determined was whether I would myself make it to the beckoning bower of bliss before I discharged my own mounting sexual fervor in a solitary spasm of diminished delight and terminal detumescence. I did not know what had led to this moment of unexpected joy—unexpected, but not unhoped for—but now was not the time to analyze the situation. I could only feel the urgency of my need and eagerly followed the fetching temptress whither she would have me. . . .(more)
"Natural Selection"--Posted at Fiction on the Side
This is me.
Let me tell you a story.
A man and a woman. Together. They lived and died.
Let me tell you another story.
Children were born. They grew up. A man and a woman. Another woman, another man. Together. Together.
This is still me. (more)
"Tell a Story"
But will he listen? Believe me, he’ll find a way to rationalize it, dismiss it, reassure himself that he knows what he’s doing and that all those who keep rejecting him are the ones who must be obtuse. Unfit for the responsibilities they’ve assumed, unqualified to judge his efforts at all, much less in the arrogant in which way they so typically respond. (At least this latest one could be called a response, an attempt to signal that some contact had been made, however unhelpful the brief exhortation is likely to prove when all’s said and done. You’ll have to reach your own conclusions.) I have some sympathy for him, despite the impatience you’ve no doubt detected in just these first few words. . . . (more)
"The History of Philosophy"
For Stan Gray, the history of philosophy was above all the story of how human beings had learned to do without the consoling stories they were so skillful at inventing. Beginning with Plato, philosophers had spun out exhilarating but outlandish tales of transcendent worlds inaccessible to ordinary perception, of a human mind irreparably cut off from any authentic contact with the reality presented by the senses and thus effectively on its own, of historical forces so powerful that we can.t help but obey them, even when we think ourselves to be most strenuously defying them, of an entity called "consciousness," real but unlocatable, running roughshod over the hopelessly mechanical operations of the mere lump of flesh called the brain. (more)
"The Higher Learning" --Posted at Fiction on the Side
Even as I stood staring at it, arranged as it was in trim gray letters perfectly aligned across the pane of frosted glass, I could not recognize it as my own. Although I knew that indeed it must be mine—why else had I entered the building and made a bee line for this door, as if I had walked this path every day of my life?—the longer I tried to force it into some semblance of clarity the more it evaded me, refused to join itself into more than two unrelated words passing as a name, my name: Jacob Glade. . . . (more)
"Simplicity"--Bitter Oleander (unavailable online)
Many are the moments I recall from that quiet, unhurried life. As well the people, simple but also shrewd about the ways of the world. Or at least of that less sophisticated world they had been born to. As, of course, had I.
It ought, then, be a simple matter to choose one such moment to relate here. After all, in a world like that which I remember, almost any experience selected is likely to seem right. Representative of the whole. And, given the limited range of types available, practically anyone among the “characters” one might pick out would do in a pinch. (more)
"The Medium and the Message"--Word Riot There I am, sitting across from Sandy Flowers himself, expounding away not merely about my latest novel (compared by Sandy in introducing me to the work of Joyce, Proust, Kafka, and Beckett), but on many other subjects, broached both by the host and by my own nimble transitions from this topic to that, the latter demonstrating in no uncertain terms my intimate knowledge of all the world’s affairs, as well as my effortless command of language. As a major American writer, I am of course expected to weave my words with such consummate dexterity, but to witness this exhibition of wit and learning united can only be a sublime experience indeed. . . . (more) "Signifying Nothing"--Unlikely Stories This book is intended to shed light on that most mysterious of contemporary authors, Herbert Drain. Much interesting commentary has been written on Drain’s only published novel, Signifying Nothing, but never before now has the collective wisdom of our literary scholars been on display in a common forum. It is hoped that gathering these essays in a single volume will contribute to a broader, more informed understanding of Drain's great novel, and encourage a reevaluation of its author by the reading public. (more) "Man, 45, Asserts Identity" A man claiming to be Jeremiah (“Jerry”) Black, aged 45, was taken into custody yesterday by Ambrose police. According to Chief of Police Ken Buckley, the arrest was made after a series of complaints by Ambrose residents that the alleged Mr. Black was acting in such a manner as to make himself a public nuisance. “After being informed by those he had confronted that they were unacquainted with the man, the prisoner refused to cease and desist and we were forced to take action.” (more) "The Other Samuel Dean"--Sycamore Review (unavailable online) It’s not that I’d never actually written anything myself. I can show you files and files of stories and partially finished novels that will demonstrate just how persistently I tried to find my true voice, to produce the work that would make my name one to reckon with in the literary world. (Although it no longer matters, I know that nothing of mine will ever be taken seriously again—still, some of that stuff is pretty damn good. If only those self-appointed arbiters of all that’s fit to be in print had acknowledged this fact, all of the subsequent trouble could have been avoided, I assure you.) I guess you could say I succeeded, but I’m sure you won’t be surprised to hear that I don’t take much satisfaction from it. (more) "The Parasite Text"--Bewildering Stories This is me again. First time forgot to engage lexical sequencer. Once more a testing. Confirm machine is working. Remember grandfather speaking about these devices, but have never actually operationalized one. Will take some time to perfect the technique. Vocable Text Generators, they are yclept. (more)
"Brains on the Mat, A Chinese Bat"--Fluent Ascension
1) Suppose I send a friend shopping for five green dandelions. This case will serve to illustrate all that is most crucially involved in our inquiry, as I think we will see. . . . (more)
Entire Text of Tell a Story! (.pdf)