Many liberals have spent the recent time since the election warning the Republican party that its current ideas and strategies are not working, in effect urging Republicans to change their ways. I can't myself resist the temptation to give the GOP my own advice about how they might best move forward, although I would first of all suggest that most of these earnest entreaties offered by liberals can't be trusted--many Democrats would like to blunt the Republican edge, blur the lines between liberal and conservative so that all might link arms and march into the future promised by the new liberal order, a market-oriented paradise overseen by liberal technocrats. Beware this effort to rob you of your righteous anger and your well-earned grudges.
My advice is simple and easily stated: Keep doing what you're doing. Don't let liberals and even some of your fellow Republicans convince you that your ideas need to be modified and your tactics changed. Don't trim your sails for the sake of political expediency. These ideas and tactics may not have worked this time around, but surely if you maintain the faith they'll win the day eventually.
Allow me to be more specific. Turn a deaf ear to all of these proposals, which surely you will continue to hear repeated:
--Never reconsider your belief that millionaires and billionaires should contribute as little as possible to the common good except through their unquestioned skill as "job creators." Taxes on the wealthy should never be raised!
--Give no credence to these suggestions that you must appeal more to Hispanics or African Americans. What have they ever done for you except assault you with their foreign words, frighten your children, or fail to adequately clean your hotel room? Please continue to alienate as many non-white citizens as possible, since they deserve no better.
--Do not ever trust the geeks and numbers crunchers who apparently have no other purpose except to predict your electoral defeat through their specious forms of "analysis." Down with math! Down with logic! Surely they only threaten your profits and your cherished ideals!
--Reject the appeals to nominate "better candidates." I can attest that here in Missouri, the candidacy of that paragon, Todd Akin, was nothing short of a revelation to all those benighted citizens who had no idea so many women were claiming to be raped just so they could appeal to our sympathies when they resorted to the abortion clinics. No doubt free of charge! One prominent Republican has threatened to cut out the tongues of future candidates who dare speak the truth on this issue, but do not heed the warning of this traitor. Continue to speak your minds!
--(If I might also suggest: try to make sure every Republican candidate in the country hires Dick Morris as political consultant. I swoon at his brilliance.)
--Resist the pressure to turn your backs on such patriots as Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck. If they act as "spokesmen" for the Republican party, this is only as it should be, since you are yourselves the true spokesmen of this country in your adherence to what is right and good, and they only articulate what you are thinking.
--Never, ever, mute your principled voices on those all-important "social issues." Yes, for now you may be pushing away younger voters, who seem to have no moral center, and this may result in making these voters identify with the Democrat party, but please remember great advances are being made in extending life expectancy. Many of you elderly Republicans might very well persist into your 90s and, who knows, maybe even 100s. Forget the Young Republicans. Form a new organization, the Geriatric Republicans!
--Do not forget that America is the Beacon to the world, the guarantor of justice and freedom, and that it is America's first duty to monitor all conflicts in the world so that we might eventually start a war there.
In short, my Republican friends (you know who you are), I can summon no greater wisdom than to beseech you: Don't ever change.